Not Fair

Somewhere, somehow, in those first year of our life, we come up with a concept that life should be 'Fair'. So let me put this out there, what exactly does 'fair' mean? Does it mean equality? Justice? Mercy? In a family, doesn't it mean each sibling gets treated exactly the same? Does it mean that the good and the bad should be handed out equally, without individual reguard?

Whatever it means, it teaches us that we should expect to have the exact same, or at least not less then another person. If they get a piece of cake, we get a piece of cake. It doesn't matter if we ate our dinner. You know what I mean, right? 

I remember reading 'The Princess Bride' in High School, and a quote from the book says, "Life is not fair. It's just fairer than death. That's all." But even then, I still didn't fully understand the fact that life is not fair.

I went on a mission to California for 18 months, I met people who had everything they could ever want, and I met people who lived the smallest of homes and had so split rent between three different families to afford living there. That doesn't seem fair, but still, I believed that fairness had to exist out there. 

This year, I learned that life is not fair. I've been ejected out of my comfort zone and into the line of fire, the line of decision, the line of action. In my mind, that is not fair.

Yesterday, as I sat in church, thinking about this year and what I have learned, I had a thought come to me. I hope you'll understand it, take it at face value and chew it around in your mind until you can make your own sort of sense out of it. 

My thought was this: This year I have thought and prayed, "Heavenly Father, this isn't fair!" And every time I expressed this, in thought, in writing, in prayer, the thought and answer has come back to me from my Heavenly Father, "I know. I know that it is not fair, but it will be okay." -and although that doesn't seem like much of an answer. I can accept that far better than any other answer that people have tried to give me. It's so validating to have someone recognize that IT IS NOT FAIR. And once that has been acknowledged, I'm better able to listen to what I need to hear. I'm not blaming God for all the trials I have this year, and I know that he is not punishing me for the mistakes I have made. I'm just learning and growing and that is what I am supposed to do. And He is there to bind up wounds and keep me safe. 

I know that is true. In Preach My Gospel, in teaching of the atonement it says: "As we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He an help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." 

Life is not fair, it's time that we get that thought out of our head. What we want and what we need are sometimes things and experiences so vastly different than we think, but we can't learn because we can't see past the unfairness of it. So I'll challenge you, when you think something you're going through is not fair, I want you to get down on your knees and tell God just that. "Father, this is not fair." and I am sure that He will agree with you and that as you continue to turn to Him, He will help you realize what you need to learn.