Book Review

So I joined a book club in my city, and the second book we read really impressed me. It isn't one that I would have picked up off the shelf, but it's one that I think I would like to own one day. It's called "Between Shades of Gray" by Ruta Sepetys

Here is what the official website says about this book: http://www.betweenshadesofgray.com/

In 1941, fifteen-year-old Lina is preparing for art school, first dates, and all that summer has to offer. But one night, the Soviet secret police barge violently into her home, deporting her along with her mother and younger brother. They are being sent to Siberia. Lina's father has been separated from the family and sentenced to death in a prison camp. All is lost.

The book follows a Lithuanian family's history through some horrifying events in the history of WWII. Told through the eyes of Lina, this powerful story is one that I am sad to say I had ever even heard before. I have heard, like everyone else, about Hitler and the Jews, but I never new that during that same time, so many people were being killed. 

I thought this would be a hard book for me to read, but Sepetys write in such a way that you truly can relate to the characters in the book. You can see their good qualities and the ones that are truly important, love and hope. There was always a sense of hope in Lina and her mother. Her mother was truly inspiring because she always had an attitude that things would work out no matter how horrible they got. Her example is what helped her children all throughout the book. 

There are several powerful one-liners in this book, lines that make you stop and think. Because I listened to the book on Audio, I didn't remember all of them like I would have liked to, but I do remember one powerful one that made me stop and think when I heard it. Later, when i got a hard copy of the book, it was the line on the back cover. It says, "Have you ever wondered what a human life is worth? That morning, my brother's was worth a pocket watch." 

Although the story follows a fictional family, nearly all of the things the family goes through happened to someone who lived during this time. The author told of interviewing survivors originally to write a non-fiction book. But because the survivors still fear retribution for speaking out about the things they suffered, no one wanted to put their name in the book. 

I thought it was a powerful story and very well written. I think that because Sepetys has ties to Lithuania, she was able to truly tell this story with real emotion. I would fully recommend it. Also, check out the books website and the short clip the author has on there. It's powerful and reminds you what it is to truly have the freedom we do have. 

Reality...

I think the world we live in today is so interesting. Here I am, writing a blog (which is essentially a Journal entry) and putting it out there for the world to read. I'm not sure many people read my blog, but regardless, it's silly isn't it? 

There is this need that I have to see my words reach other people. I think it's silly when my mom gets sucked into the Reality Shows like the Bachelor or Dancing With the Stars, but I'm easily swayed into the hype when Britney Spears becomes a judge on the X-factor. There are people who make you roll your eyes when you see them on those kinds of shows, there are blogs, possibly mine, that make you roll your eyes because I'm just that girl who wants someone to read my words and react. 

Why is that, do you think? 

When did we get so sucked up in 'reality' and putting on a 'reality' for others. 

You wanna know me? I'm just a girl who's trying to figure things out. 

I've never been in love, I've never been that important to someone else, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be. 

In my Anthropology class one time, someone brought up that the culture of Reality TV and Blogging and such has turned us into Narcissists. We think that people really care who we are and what is on our minds. I'll admit, I love it when my facebook status' are liked, and people comment that I'm so funny, or witty or whatever. But I didn't used to be that way, at least it wasn't my main focus. Now it seems as though if a facebook status goes unliked, it means that I myself am unliked. 

I guess I sound like a hypocrite as I'm typing this all on a blog...but I want to know, why is that that it feels so validating when someone comments on my blog?  

Quote of the Day: Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. -Andre Dubus

A Writers World...and a Story Preview

If you frequent my blog (which I know you don’t because no one does) then you would notice that I’ve added the Wattpad Widget to the right of the screen. If you have a wattpad, you should fan me and give my stories a read if you feel so inclined!

If you don’t have a wattpad and you don’t know what in the world I’m talking about, let me explain! Wattpad is a site for writers, it’s where writers can publish their works for other people to read. I would say it’s a little like a facebook for people who like to write. (I am somewhat unfortunately one of those people who like to write. Not that you’d be able to tell that from my 12 post blog…)

And I only say unfortunately because although I love to write, sometimes it is so hard to do!

But, just to give you a little taste, I’ll preview the Prologue of my story right here on my blog. That way, if you like it, go to wattpad and continue reading. If you REALLY like it, perhaps you would consider voting for it on wattpad, my story is in a contest on there and I would be every so grateful for your support!

K.

Thanks!

Star Girl

Prologue:

“All right Doll, I want you to give me that heart stopping smile!”

            Desirae did as she was told, grinning into the camera and the photographer behind it. Jacob had always been her favorite. Flashes exploded around her, and she flipped her hair over her shoulder, peering up at him with her best, who me look. She knew Jacob loved that one.

            “Perfect, Angel! Can you move a little more for me?” She was sitting facing him, so she turned her back to him and peered over her shoulder at him, then sliding onto her stomach, looked up at him with her elbows resting on the floor and her chin in her hands giving him a perfectly innocent look. Once more the flashes went off in her dark blue eyes before he lowered the camera for a moment. As soon as it wasn’t pointed at her, she let the smile slide off her face.

            “Are we done for today, Jacob?” she asked, doing her best to make sure her voice wasn’t whiney; but she was tired. To her relief, the photographer nodded, handing the camera off to an assistant and walking toward her. 

            “Yeah, I think we’re done for today. We’ll see how the pictures turn out and send them over to Johnson. He’ll tell us if they were any good.” He grinned down at her, “But as beautiful as you are, Angel, everyone will love them.”

            She flipped her hair over her shoulder, and grinned up at him. “Thanks for the pictures, Jacob,” she told him in a tone that was too grown up, the barest hint of her once thick southern accent coming through. 

            “No problem, Angel. You know you’re my favorite person in the world to photograph.”

            “Desirae Kimball!” The commanding woman’s earsplitting voice echoed throughout the studio. Everyone looked nervously toward the door before they hurried back to work and out of sight if they could manage it.

            Desirae’s eyes widened and she turned back into any other eight year old as she pulled a face, “My Mama’s here, I gotta go!”

            Desirae ran towards the dressing room, but the woman cut her off, grabbing her by the shoulders before she had a chance to go through the door. “Desirae, you should have already been changed; we have to meet Nick Johnson in less than ten minutes.” She looked down at her daughter, “Well hurry, what are you standing there for?” she insisted as she pushed her in the direction of the dressing room. “We’ve got lots left to do today.”

            Holland Davis, one of the most beautiful seventeen year old models in New York City, came up behind Jacob. “Looks like the child star has been here today,” she said, hearing the demands of Stephanie Kimball.

            Jacob turned to smile at the protégé, taking his camera back from the assistant, ready to go again. “Yes, she has. Desirae Kimball, child wonder. I hear she’s even giving you a run for your money, Holland.”

            Holland smiled, not the least ruffled as she took her first pose in a stunning black dress against a white backdrop. “She’s only eight years old.”

            Jacob raised his camera and took a few shots of the girl before he lowered it to look at her again. “Maybe so, but she already had a film, singing and modeling career. She was born a star.”

            As Holland raised one of her beautiful eyebrows, Jacob snapped a few frames of her skeptical look, “Yes, but will she die one?”

            *****

            Desirae’s feet didn’t even touch the ground as she swung them back and forth while she sat in one of the expensive leather chairs in Nick Johnson’s Manhattan office. She and her mother were waiting for her manager to arrive. While Desirae eyed the M&M jar on Nick’s desk, her mother was going over Desirae’s schedule in her thick, leather planner.

            “Can I have some M&M’s, Mama?”

            Stephanie appeared shocked and appalled at the suggestion, although her eyes never left the planner. “No, you may not. Why do you think you have a personal trainer?”

            Desirae rolled her eyes behind her mother’s back, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout. She knew it wouldn’t make a difference to her mother if she pouted, but maybe Nick. . . A thought struck her young mind.

            “Mama, when are we going home? Daddy said he was coming to see me tonight.” That made Stephanie look up at her daughter.

            “Your father is busy, he won’t be able to see you tonight Desirae.”

            She looked up at her mother blankly. The words didn’t seem to sink in or make any sense at all in her young mind. “But he promised.” Her childlike innocence still led her to believe that a promise was a promise.

            Stephanie reached out to touch her daughter’s hair, seeming a sensitive motherly gesture to some, but Desirae knew it was to make her all the more presentable. As her mother spoke, she turned away, fussing with the planner’s pages and her purse, anything to keep her gaze from her daughter. “He’s busy. You’re busy. You can see him another time. End of story.”

            And it was the end of the story for a moment. Nick Johnson came in, smoothly settling behind the desk. “Ms. Kimball, I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting. How did the photo shoot go?”

            “It went well,” Stephanie answered, although she’d spent most of the shoot in the car, arranging appointments for Desirae. “Jacob will probably have the pictures over to you this afternoon.”

            “Good, good.” He said absently. He was going through some papers on his messy desk. “We’ve set up a tour schedule for Des. She’ll wrap up the new horror movie at the end of June, and rehearsals should take about six weeks, so we’ve scheduled the first shows for her concert series the second week of August.”

            “So long?” Stephanie seemed surprised.

            “Well, I know we were going to shorten the rehearsal time, but since Des is a minor, we have to follow the rules. I think six weeks is about the limit. Levi Preston, the shows choreographer met with Desirae last week. He’s already picked out some dancers for her and they love her.”

            Stephanie smiled with large, perfect white teeth, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “That’s not a surprise. Who doesn’t love Desirae Kimball?” She asked him with a wave of her hand. “So how will the movie release and CD release coincide?”

            “Perfectly!” Nick’s high voice rang with enthusiasm. “They’ll be just a few weeks apart. She’ll be on everyone’s mind. The kids love her because she’s one of them, and everyone else loves her because she’s beautiful and talented. Desirae will be in the lights for a long time to come.”

            The office went silent as both manager and mother contemplated Desirae’s fame. She’d been in the public eye since she was five years old. Everyone loved her. And they were determined to keep it that way. Stephanie was, no doubt, more than willing to pay the price.

            As they went back to planning what needed to be done for the next few weeks, Desirae put her head down on her arm and closed her eyes, fading off into her own dream world. In her sleep her lips were still pouting, her thoughts far from the profit margin they wanted to create for her.           

            *****

            Cameron Jackson sighed as he leaned his head against the door to the New York apartment where his ex-wife and daughter lived. Stephanie always did this to make him break all his promises to Dessie. Finally giving up he left, realizing he had little choice. 

            He was leaving again the next day, and with Dessie’s schedule so busy for the next four months, he knew he wouldn’t be able to see her. She wouldn’t find time to fly down to Georgia to visit her father. Nor, he figured would she want to visit the man who had ‘broken’ all his promises to her.

            He caught a cab back to his hotel, looking at the billboards littering the city, plastered with his daughter’s face and brilliant blue eyes. He couldn’t comprehend losing her, but he feared he may have done just that.

            He trudged into his hotel room and was received by the smile of his wife of four years. “How’d the visit go?” Emily asked him softly.

            He didn’t have to say anything; she could read the pained expression on his face.  “She’ll know you tried, Cameron.” She said, trying to smooth the frown from his face. “Dessie loves you.”

            Cameron shook his head, “Stephanie will poison her against me.”

            Emily bit her bottom lip and sighed. She, like her husband, loved Dessie; but she could not imagine his pain. Stephanie had made sure that Emily was not allowed around the child after she realized that Desirae actually liked her step-mother.

            Cameron hit his fist on the table, making her jump. “She’s only eight!” he insisted. “She’s only eight years old. She works harder than any other super star out there and she doesn’t even know any different. She’s not allowed to have fun! She’s not even allowed to see her own father!”

            Emily rubbed her hand over his back, “Cam, Des knows you love her. You call her every day; you talk to her every day. That’s more than Stephanie does, and she lives with her!”

            “For now. . . but who knows when Stephanie will take that away from me too. I wish I could take her back to Georgia with us. She wasn’t meant for New York. . .she’ll never remember her home.” He hung his head, defeat written all over his face and in his posture as he finished softly, “she’ll never remember me.”

            “You are her father,” Emily reminded him fiercely. “She will always remember you.” 

            He ran his hands through his hair, frustration coursing through him. “Is it wrong of me to wish that she would fail?”

            Emily smiled slightly, “Dessie has more talent than half of the celebrities out there. She needs to use that talent because it is part of who she is. She’ll have to find herself in her talent. And then. . .when she realizes what she wants, she’ll go for it, and her mother won’t have any influence over her anymore. She’s just like her father that way.”

            He looked up at her, a rueful smile on his lips. “You should have been her mother. Stephanie doesn’t love her.”

            “Maybe she does,” Emily insisted. She had a habit of always looking for the best in people. “Maybe Stephanie just doesn’t know how to let people know she loves them.  Come on, call Dessie tomorrow. She’ll understand.”

            He nodded, trying to feel hope in Emily’s words. She was almost always right, but somehow, he doubted her on this one. She didn’t know the full capacity of Stephanie’s powers.

Lover's Lane...

“Don’t be mad at me for keeps, Anne.” I think Gilbert Blythe would have won me over then and there. It broke my little heart that it took Anne so many years to see how much he loved her. Oh, Anne Girl, I would have loved to be in your shoes! When I was younger, I read the Anne of Green Gables series. I read all 8 books, though I don’t think most people even know there are so many books in the series. I’ve just discovered a few of the audio books and been listening to them over the past week or so. I remember in my little 12 year old soul wishing I lived on Prince Edward Island and had a part in all of Anne’s adventures and schemes. It seemed the perfect little kind of life in Avonlea. I imagine walking through the ‘White Way of Delight’ and over ‘Lover Lane’ with the dear and often quirky towns people of Avonlea. Going to Redmond and living at Patty’s Place is a dear dream of my heart. And to think, Anne turned down somewhere around five proposals in her years at Redmond, including Gilbert’s! I cried when she did so, for I couldn’t see how she herself didn’t see that she loved him like she did. The books remind me of dreaming and imagining things in life that have always been apart of me. I think they are simply wonderful...I'm glad I've discovered them again.